The thought of being physically assaulted by the one you sleep with is unnerving - to say the least.
Yet here she was getting beat on by a man that she loved after a 4 year battle with cocaine addiction.. .
A man who she devoted her love too after 4 years of active addiction and devistating suicidal depression. The effort made for the relationship was something she had never experienced and was giving her reason to live again. She stopped running the streets and using her beloved drug of choice, not for him, but for both of them!
They say you will not be successful if you quit using for another person. The desire to quit or to try must come intrinsically.
After the second fight they were laughing and he mentioned something about weapons. . .
"He said, 'Baby, if you pick a weapon up use it! And don't let up! Don't pick up a weapon and not use it!' "
5 weeks later she did exactly that.
"I was in the walk in closet. The apartment was a compact 1 bedroom. The sink was outside the commode and the walk in closet was in the same corner opposite the sink. Somehow, like an idiot I was moving away from the door. I was stuck! He had backed me into the corner. No outlet. No escape. I knew inwas in for it... i already had a busted lip and my left eye would soon be black in blue..."
"It's crazy because 90% of our fights were over nothing, like needing something - the wifi passcode, or the lid to a pan. We were ALWAYS fighting over nothing... come to find out it was his ego and his need to control something... "
There is never a proper excuse for domestic violence yet in the United States average one and three women experience domestic violence in their homes anually. That's more than 10 million a year !
Domestic violence isn't just physical abuse. It is also psychological manipulation and emotional abuse and includes financial abuse and yhe need to control something.
Domestic violence is not just between intimate Partners. It is also between family members and those under the same household. Someone who calls you names to disrespect you or belittle you or degrade you in public is abusing you and if they live in the same household this is considered to be domestic violence.
She turns her head and stopped speaking for a moment. A tear rolls down her cheek only to evaporate suddenly.. . She looks up at me with an undeniable fire in her eyes . . . The story gets worse.
"I was in the corner. Back against the wall with no protection. He was wailing on ne like I was a man! Like I had stole something from him..."
"I literally had no protection other than my arms. I tried to squeeze myself invisible. Then out of nowhere his voice was in my ear telling me about how to use a weapon. .."
At this point I'm on the edge of my seat because she starts smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"I started grabbing the clothes off the rack, pants, jackets, jeans, anything.. everything. I thought of the furniture in between blows. He was stomping on me at this point. I grabbed the bar stool. Grabbed the dresser draw and covered myself until I knew he was killing his knuckles trying to punch on me."
"I curled myself up again. Only this time I was playing offense. I played soccer and swam competitively as a kid. I'm not a twerp...never have been. I've always had size and strength. .
Today was a day she would use that strength.
"I used my legs to jump up and out. I did a Bruce Lee / WWE move and knocked him to the floor. I don't know how, all I know is I got myself out of that closet."
As she speaks her hands clutch tightly and her faced wrinkles up. I notice her body language. She is reliving the scene before me...
"He chased after me... cornered me again... I picked up the Gatorade bottle I had filled with bleach... and headed for the door.
He blocked me...
I clutched the bleach desperately while ge cursed me telling me I wasn't going anywhere."
I remember screaming at him and grabbing the frying pan on the stove. I ran full speed and mashed his head with the frying pan as hard as I could."
I was so happy for her. She wasn't done telling her story but from where she was going with it I knew she won. I was looking at one tough cookie respecting her more by the second. . .
"By the time i was done with him the frying pan was bent in half and he had bleach in his mouth . . ."
"As crazy as it might sound, i enjoyed hitting him back . I realiz i did not deserve to be abused like this... and i will not. If anyone thinks they can hit on me they got another thing coming !"
